Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) - BAZ LUHRMANN

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '99...
Wear Sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…

I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.

But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….

You're not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind…the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance… even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you.Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time it's 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.

Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen...

My Momentary Indulgence

Let me indulge myself for awhile. Let me pour everything out.

I have listen to all of your stories. Shared in your pains and joys. Been there to wipe your tears, gave you a shoulder to cry on, helped put a smile back to your face.

Just this once --- give this moment to me. However petty or trivial my concerns maybe to you. They are still mine and are grave to me. So please understand that.

I did not judge. I did not lecture. I did not mock.

All i did was listen to what you had to say. And that's all I ask of you now.

Forgive me if I allow myself to indulge in self pity. That's how I cope. I've been trying to convince myself that I am better than this. But I am not. I've been trying to get out of this quicksand of self pity, but I've been moving too much, I fall even deeper.

I know it's not healthy to indulge in self pity, but like an addiction -- i keep on coming back for more. Don't get me wrong, I do want to get better, but I don't see that happening in the near future.

Please do not judge me because you are in a good place right now, because I did not judge you when you were going through worse.

I am sorry. Very sorry.

I just don't get to talk about how i feel or what i go through. I do not think i am worthy of anybody's time. That's why I do not bother all of you with my problems. It's always been like that.

I can vent here because I think not many would read through this extensive entry. Because it's too long, no one would bother read it. And that's a good thing. I just want these thoughts out of my system. So, there's no editing, no proof reading --- just raw feelings and thoughts.

Here goes my indulgence---

1. I think my-ex was only with me because of the material benefits that went with our relationship --- not because he truly loved me.
2. Romantic attractions prior or later that relationship was never reciprocated.
3. My dad may have loved his other family more than he loved us.
4. All my friends are earning at least twice my salary.
5. Gained, lost and gained weight again and again.
6. Flawed skin. Need not elaborate.
7. No major talent. No major passion.
8. Unsure of my potential in my line of work.

All these may seem petty to you. But to me, these are the hurdles I have to overcome each day.

Again, sorry for indulging in self-pity. It's my only way of coping.

(I hope not many would read this.)

Opposite of Kate

In the movie, The Holiday, an old and wise award-winning screenwriter, said to Kate Winslet -- You're a leading lady. Why do you take the role of the bestfriend?

Taking this, maybe -- all this time -- I have been doing it in reverse.

Maybe I have been looking at myself through a cruel mirror.
Maybe -- all this time -- I have been seeing more than what's really there.
Maybe all I really am is the best friend -- eternally faithful, loyal and available.
Someone who'll listen to every petty story, help to any extent and compliment every minute accomplishment.

That's all I am and will ever be.

I won't be put on a pedestal.
I won't receive roses.
I won't be seranaded.

The earlier I accept this, the better -- the easier it'll be for me to accept my destiny.

I am the opposite of Kate.

Left Behind

Year 2001, a phase has ended and a new one was about to be started.
A time to prove oneself.
Explore potentials and overcome trials.
In the process, reap the rewards of one's hardwork and shine.

Five years later ---
Everybody seemed to have gotten to a higher place -- a better compensated place.

In those five years, I did the same. I explored. I overcame. But I never shined.

They say, we deserve what we get.
If that's so, I do not deserve much.

There should be a drastic change in 2007.
I do not want to be left behind any further.
I have to step it up or change lanes, change paths.

SOON!

W's

Who is he?
Why do I feel this way about him?
Where did he come from?
What does he think of when he close his eyes? When he does his little moves?

When will I get to know him?

Tonight

In a cafe.
He tapped the microphone.
There was a feedback.
The guitarist strummed. He hummed.

I scanned through the pages of my magazine.
Looking at pictures, pretending to be interested in the articles written.
When all I want to do is stare and sing along.

He sang from the heart.
He bared his soul.
I continued looking down to the pages that meant nothing.
Nodding to the beat of his song.

I could have looked.
I could have smiled.
I could have even sang up there with him in the spotlight.

Instead, insecurities stepped in and got the best of me -- as they always do. Always.

French Songs Remind Me of Malaysia

When i fall in love with an artist, a genre, or an album, i tend to listen to it over and over and over again until my ears bleed.

It was the end of September 2006 and i fell in love with French songs.

Though I went to Paris way back in 1997, I don't know why I fell for their songs. I don't know any French. I am not so keen on French culture. Heck, I don't even know a single French word!

But maybe that's exactly what captured my fancy. Whenever I listen to it, I feel I am somewhere else. Far from here. Far from such familiar sadness. Far from regular problems. Far from constant disappointments. Far from my existing lonely space.

When October 2006 came, my family and I went to Malaysia for vacation. This time I am physically away from my depressing little world and it was --- GREAT! I met new people. Saw new things. Ate weird stuff. Slept in different places. Bought useless things. And I loved it!

To top it all, I was listening to my French playlist! I was on top of the world, the world in my narcissistic mind.

But of course, i had to return to reality. So here I am again, just waiting for another escape.

Maybe I should listen to Indian music and go somewhere near Turkey. What do you think?

VOID

I MISS HIM.
THE LESSONS HE TAUGHT ME, THE JOKES HE SHARED WITH ME.

I MISS HIM.
THE COMFORT HE GAVE ME, THE CONFIDENCE HE HAD IN ME.

I MISS HIM.
THE WAY HE MADE ME FEEL SPECIAL. THE WAY HE TOLD ME HIS DARKEST SECRETS.

I MISS HIM.
HIS VOICE. HIS TOUCH.
THE WAY HE'D PROTECT ME FROM PEOPLE WHO PUT ME DOWN... FROM THINGS THAT HURT... FROM MY THOUGHTS AND DOUBTS.
WITH HIM THERE'S CONTENTMENT, PEACE, RESPECT AND LOVE.
WITH HIM, I'M READY TO FACE ANYTHING. WITH HIM, I FEEL POWERFUL.
I DON'T MIND BEING VUNERABLE, HE'LL ACCEPT ME --- STRONG OR WEAK, DUMB OR SMART, RICH OR POOR, FAT OR THIN --- NOTHING MATTERED TO HIM --- NOTHING EXCEPT ME.

WHAT WOULD I TRADE TO GET HIM BACK. WHAT WOULD I HAVE TO DO?

Control G

Only if it were this simple.

All I had to do is press CONTROL G for you to notice me.
Juat a CONTROL G and you'd know I am thinking of you.
Just a CONTROL G and you'd know I want you to see me, hear me, read me.

The noise may bother you because i'd press it until you give me a smiling face.
But nonetheless, you'd know I love you...

Only if it was that simple.

Red Alert

It's Valentine's Day.

Be cautious. Be numb. Be brave.

Be cautious not to wear anything red. It may seem that i'm in love --- when i am NOT.
Be numb of the happiness that will be rubbed in my face by couples intoxicated by it --- while i breathe loneliness.

Be brave to be cautious and numb at the same time --- it's hard to know that the love you want really exists, but it's not for you.

Giving In

I am the kind of person who don't usually give in --- fast.
Ergo, I only made a blogspot account just now. After my friends (ehem, ehem hazel?) persistently erged me to create one, even when i am already contented with my multiply account. Why did I give in? I don't know. The important thing is that I did. Agree?

And what better day to start than THE Vday!

If you ask me, the heart is the strongest part of the human body. It's resilient to heavy beating. Durable enough to withstand decades and decades of hurt and pain. The bone gets brittle, lungs get spots, but the heart --- even if physically damaged, can still feel. It can still love.

So no matter how many times you get rejected. How many times you get betrayed. How many times you felt abandoned... You'll still keep coming back for more.